I was reading the Episcopaliene blog ( a really good blog esp. on issues of black identity, womanhood, and feminism) in which the latest debate was about black women in interracial relationships and black unity. I suppose everyone has their own opinion on what is ‘black’ and what constitutes ‘identity’. I always see myself as Black and I prefer the term Black because I think it expresses pride and embraces all those things about my physical characteristics that the world teaches you to hate, but I will always fiercely LOVE. Living abroad, I see myself as an American. In the context of marriage, though, I don’t see my spouse and I as nationalities-though our cultures have a great deal to do with the people we become, a marriage has to be between two people who become one through love, communication, and shared values. IMO when people concentrate overly much on the interracial/intercultural aspect of mixed marriages they lose sight of the fact that it involves two distinct individuals and not groups. Maybe, this happens because some people really aren’t individuals-they don’t know themselves or what they want so they are always looking for some outside source to define them.
I know some of the issues for me are different than what I read on a lot of BW interracial blogs. The issue of Black/White interracial marriages are different than other interracial/intercultural marriages because of the history. It also tends to dominate the discussion. Further, on some interracial blogs/groups I do think it become too much of a ‘white men are the best’ sessions and I don’t think that having white skin makes you better, special, or nicer. It’s just a physical characteristic. Hubby and I have had some deep discussions about the ‘white is best’ mentality and how some asians-and let’s be frank some black people too-have this mentality of : I will date someone regardless of race; as long as that race is white.
To be fair, part of the reason is because that is what most media focuses on. For example, if you read western newspapers about international marriages in Japan they almost always talk to and interview white westerners when in fact, most international marriages in Japan are to other Asians. (Chinese, Koreans, Japanese-Americans, Japanese Brazilians etc.) But in the west the assumption is that the audience is white and only really interested in reading about white people. They also tend to define white as western, ie. UK or US, but not, for example, Russians. Also, in US magazines Black/White interracial marriages guarantees controversy so it’s in their business interest to focus on it. Even people against interracial marriages will buy the magazine/newspaper for the sole purpose of complaining about it. 
